dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
