yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
