Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
