john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
