I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
