You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
smell my finger.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Randomize
