You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
