i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
