he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
