The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
