we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Randomize
