I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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