Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it hurts more in the daytime
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just pee around me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
