I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
