Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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