dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
