I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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