Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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