That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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