I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my being single is dangerous.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
