So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
