anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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