i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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