The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
