I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
