I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
