Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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