She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
