I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Did you just see the Batmobile???
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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