your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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