He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
