at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
