Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
