are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
