I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
