would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
