does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
