I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
