He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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