what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
