Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
is wine microwaveable?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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