paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
