it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
