You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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