She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
