So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
