Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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