I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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