Soap is not a condiment
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
