Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
