Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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