yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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