I wannas sexs uuuuu
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
