Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
