So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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