hotel room ftw
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
