I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
