By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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