You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
