I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We are all done wearing pants today
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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